chicken haiku

chicken sandwich
good
pam anderson - leave the Colonel
be

Michael Jackson Trial

Let me interupt our regularly scheduled broadcast to break down the Michael Jackson trial for you and tell you why Wacko Jacko is going to go to the pokey.

They finished picking the jury today in the Michael Jackson child molestation trial, and the lawyers will be giving their opening statements on Monday. That means that it only took about a week of court time to choose the jury, which by California standards means this case is absolutely flying along.

I've tried jury trials, all as a criminal defense lawyer, and they are absolute crap shoots. You never know what 12 people will do with a case. However, I think there are 3 reasons that this jury will convict Michael Jackson:

1. THE MAN IN THE BLACK ROBE DON'T MESS AROUND - It sounds like this California judge doesn't mess around, and he's going to allow the prosecution some leeway in presenting evidence of Michael Jackson's prior bad acts (ie past allegations of child molestation).

2. WOMEN DON'T LIKE "ALLEGED" CHILD MOLESTERS - There are 8 women on this jury. Women have children. Women do not want to see their children molested, and they do not want to see other mother's children molested.

3. MICHAEL JACKSON HAS FOOT-IN-MOUTH DISEASE - I personally have never had really good luck in cases I've tried where my client took the stand. Usually, they have nothing good to add to the conversation, and usually end up saying something to the jury that makes those 12 people just want to convict my client that much quicker. Michael Jackson is going to want to testify. Michael Jackson is not going to be able to help himself when he testifies, meaning he will say something on the stand like "I could not have done this, because of all the beautiful things I do for children and with children. I'm a good person, I could never do this, etc.,etc." In the law, normally a jury does not get to hear character evidence, unless a defendant stupidly brings it up by saying something like the above. Also, witnesses that the defense call will also undoubtedly tell the jury what a good person Michael Jackson is, no matter how well coached they are by Jackson's lawyers. All of this is going to "open the door" to allow evidence to come into the trial of his alleged "bad" character. Once this happens, he is toast and he's going to prison - game, set, match.

Happy Anniversary Carolyn

Tomorrow is the 8th anniversary of my sister Carolyn's 29th birthday. Happy anniversay Carolyn. I'm guess I'll always still be older than you, though.

Totally Clean Joke

Credit to JC from Cincy for this joke...

Two Little Kittens received Cell phones for Valentines Day.

Do you know what they said on the first phone call they made to each other?

Can you hear MEOW?


I love bad jokes. This one just made me crack up with its absolute silliness.

We will miss you Dick Weber

I've been out of town for the last couple of days. Once or twice a month, I travel to Paducah, Owensboro and Bowling Green for my job, and I just returned from my latest sojourn down the Western Kentucky Parkway, or, the Pothole Highway as I like to call it.

My friend JC reminded me in an email today that PBA and ABC Hall of Famer Dick Weber passed away at the age of 75 on Sunday night. He was classy and was what old school bowling was all about. Dick, Don Carter and Earl Anthony are probably the 3 greatest bowlers we have ever seen. Dick won at least one PBA title in 5 consecutive decades. I had the chance to bowl in a tournament at his bowling alley, Dick Weber lanes, back in 1985, in Florissant, Missouri, just outside of St. Louis. I didn't get to meet him, but his son John was there working at the center that night, and I felt privileged to have to opportunity to bowl in his bowling alley.

Dick Weber was class with a capital C. He will be missed.

Nascar Nextel Chase for the Championship Predictions

NASCAR runs a 36 week season. At the end of 26 weeks, they take the top 10 drivers in points and "reset" the field in increments of 5 point for a 10 week playoff. Here are my predictions for the 10 drivers to make the cut in September.

10. Jeff Burton - change of scenery to Richard Childress Racing lights a fire under Ward's little brother. Jeff breaks his losing streak that dates back to 2001 sometime in the first half of the year - maybe at Texas Motor Speedway.
9. Matt Kenseth - why is Kennseth only 9th? He could be higher.
8. Greg Biffle - do not be shocked that Biffle makes the top 10. Biffle is a wheelman.
7. Dale Jr. - swapped crew chiefs with the 15 team. Wins at least 1 race at Talledega, but it also looks like the rest of Nascar has caught up with the boys at DEI in the restrictor plate area.
6. Kasey Kahne - wins at least 3 races this year.
5. Jimmie Johnson - Jeffie Gordon's teammate can drive the wheels off the car. He'll also win at least one of the races at Charlotte this year, as usual.
4. Jamie McMurray - don't be surprised if he wins the whole thing.
3. Kurt Busch - defending champ from '04 continues on. Jimmy Spencer wishes he could drive 1/4 as well as Kurt - Jimmy, it's time to forget.
2. Jeff Gordon - going for his fifth title this year. Can he make the "Drive for 5 in '05?"
1. Tony Stewart - time for "Smoke" to rebound. Too much talent.

My list breaks down like this by manufacturer:
Ford: 3, and all the Fords are at Roush Racing
Chevy: 5, and
Dodge: 2

Notables missing from my list - Mark Martin, Kevin Harvick, Dale Jarrett, Rusty Wallace, Jeremy Mayfield, Bobby Labonte.

Bud Shootout is Saturday Night under the lights at Daytona - 8:00 on FOX. Mark Martin makes a statement and has a good top five finish. Jimmie Johnson wins the Shootout.

Boogity, boogity, boogity boys, let's go racing.

Johnny Cash is the Man

Santa Claus brought Charlie Lee Johnny Cash's autobiography that he wrote with Patrick Carr in 1997.

I'm about half way done. I've always like J.R.'s music because of its simplicity, both in the lyrics and in the rhythm of his music. He speaks from the heart, and was a voice for those who didn't have a voice - the poor, the imprisoned, and the people who work for a living. Fortunately, his music lives on. Give him a listen if you haven't yet. If you are a fan, smile when you think of him today.

He had his personal demons he dealt with, just like Hank Williams, Sr. However, the world was a better place for having Johnny Cash.

Funny Cat Bumper Sticker

I saw a funny bumper sticker today on the way home from work. If you love felines, don't read this: It said:

"I love cats...they taste just like chicken."

I think I need to buy one for my cat, Satan.

Late Night Snacking, Hold the Sarcasm

On Tuesday night, I spent a couple of hours at Charlie Lee, Sr.'s house helping him with a couple of technical difficulties he was having with the printer on his computer. After successfully solving the problem, I jumped back into the Charlie Lee Mobile (a 2001 Ford Focus) to make my way back home to see Mrs. Charlie Lee.

During the excruciatingly long 8 mile trek home, I got a jonesin' for a treat. I pulled up to Steak-N-Sheak and ordered a Large Chocolate Shake, hold the chocolate fudge, and a large fry. Why hold the fudge, you say? Come on, it was only Tuesday. Chocolate fudge is more of a Saturday kind of treat.

The kid on the other end says "Would you like to try a salad or a water with that tonight?" You're kidding right?

Trying to be smart, I responded. "No, but could you place a defibulator on the side with that?"

Without missing a beat, the kid says "That will be $1400. Please drive around."

Touche to the kid.

Eagles to Win Super Bowl

Patriot fan, you chowder heads will be packing it back in and heading back to Boston with your heads hanging in shame. Don't worry, picthers and catchers report in about 3 weeks, so Pedro Martinez will be slinging his curve ball soon to carry you back to the World Series. Oh, sorry. Pedro is a New York Met now. My bad.

The Eagles will win Super Bowl XXXIX. Donovan McNabb is the real deal, and he will be the difference maker. Why is no one giving him any love? He's been in the league 6 years now, and just had his best season yet statistically. He will do something on Sunday he hasn't had to do a lot of this year - he will use his wheels and run, and his team will enter the promised land of Super Bowl greatness. It will be a close game. Eagles win it on a last second David Akers field goal, 28-27.

UK Radio Rights

Here's a quick one for all you UK fans that my Dad told me. Did you hear why the University of Kentucky fans wanted WHAS Radio to reobtain the broadcast rights for Kentucky sports? It's because Kentucky fans aren't smart enough to operate a TV.

Dad (Charlie Lee Sr.) also says he's a West Virginia Mountaineer fan, and "War Mountaineers kicking the Cardinals tails in the Big East in the Fall of 2005"

We are out. Peace.