Should we kill all the lawyers?

OK - good - I got your attention. Was Shakespeare right? Is the world a better or worse place for having lawyers? Please leave your comments.

Reasons the world might not be better off...
Lawyers don't build anything, create anything, or repair anything. Police officers protect and serve, plumbers make my pipes and sink work, fireman keep my house from burning down, auto mechanics make my car run, doctors keep me from dying.
Lawyers...well, we talk a lot, we stick our noses where they don't belong, we're pompous, aggressive, egotistical, and arrogant. And those are the good qualities we possess.
We go to school for three years where they teach us "how to think like a lawyer" (if you want a good read on the first year of law school, read the book "One-L" by Scott Turow). Thinking like a lawyer means forgetting how you thought before you arrived at law school, and learning to parse and separate every word and phrase that your colleagues write and speak. Thinking like a lawyer means understanding that there is a clear difference in your client being "innocent" as opposed to "not guilty". I always hated having "innocent" clients - the ones that the state had to prove their guilt beyond a reasonable doubt were easy to defend.
Lawyers get paid first. In any lawsuit or case I've ever been involved with, the lawyers receive the first dollar paid out. We do not stand by the side of the road with a sign that says "Will practice law for food."
Lots of law students, when asked "Why do you want to be a lawyer" say "Because I want to help people." It's supposed to be a noble profession. It just doesn't feel very noble a lot of the time.

So - do we kill all the lawyers?

Michael Moore Snubbed By the Academy

To quote Al Franken, Michael Moore is a big fat idiot (just like Rush Limbaugh). He decided not to allow Fahrenheit 911 be nominated for the Documentary Category, so that it might possibly receive a nomination for Best Picture. Uh, wrong answer. Thanks for playing Michael. Don't forget to pick up your commemorative "I acted like a doofus at the Republican National Convention, and now I'm not even going to receive a stinking Oscar" T-Shirt on the way out the door.

And by the way, I did not vote for President Bush last November. It's people like Michael Moore that give property owning, middle class, conservative Democrats like myself fits. I whole heartedly support our troops. I want them to come home yesterday. But Michael, stop your yapping. Socrates taught us to be a gadfly, but, for crying out loud, try to make some sense. You're not helping.

Sorry about the rant. In the Superbowl, take the Eagles and the six and one half points. In fact, I think the Eagles will flat out win. More later.

Hockey Sucks

Memo

TO: Both Hockey Fans in the United States
FROM: Chuck's World
RE: Hockey Strike

Attention. Your league has been locked out, shut down, iced-up, whatever you want to call it since October. Guess what? No one has noticed. No one cares. Take your mullets and your Moosehead Beer and head on back above the Northern Border where you belong. Does anybody else not care that hockey has left us? Good bye hockey. R.I.P. I am out.

More NFL Playoff Predications

Ok - I got 2 out of 4 right last weekend. I REALLY missed the Patriot-Colts game - so did everybody else, too.

EAGLES v. FALCONS. I'm jumping out on the limb now, and I will predict that the Eagles and the Pats will meet in Superbowl XXXIX in Jacksonville. Donovan McNabb is overdue. The way he was diving on Sunday reminded me of John Elway when he finally broke through and won his first Super Bowl. The Eagles get it done vs. the Falcons 27-13.

STEELERS V. PATRIOTS. I am jumping full bore onto the Patriots bandwagon. Bill Billicheck, you made a believer out of me. Dan Patrick today on ESPN radio brought up an interesting stat. Since 2001, Bill Billicheck coached teams are 10-0 when they play a quarterback the second time in a season. Also, from the other interesting statistic department, did you know that since 1999, I have gotten REALLY bad and rampant gas 32 times in a row after eating White Castles. Anyway, back to football. As you remember, Rothelsburger and Company handed the Patsies their first loss earlier this year. Billicheck will have them ready to play, and they will find a way to win in Heinz field on a last second Adam Viniterri FG, 16-13.

Playoff Footbal Picks

It is time for the Take out the Third Mortgage, Sell Your Children, Lead Pipe Locks for this weekend's Divisional Playoffs picks in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE (or NFL for those of you that like abbreviations). Here goes:

Jets @ Steelers - Saturday, 4:30 on CBS. Plexiglass Buress and the Steelers Rookie QB, Ben Rothelsburger are way, way too much for Chad Pennington and his crew from the Meadowlands. The Steelers have something to prove. All this kid at quarterback does is win, baby, just like Trent Dilfer several years ago when he took the Ravens to the Superbowl. Steelers win it easy, 27-10.

Rams @ Falcons - Saturday, 8:00 on FOX. I'm not jumping on the Rams bandwagon. They had a nice little win on the road last weekend, and that's just what it was, a nice little win. Sorry Mike Martz, it's time to take your smug little face out of the playoffs and go on back to St. Louis. Mike Dukasis is no John Kennedy, and Mark Bolger is no Kurt Warner. Mike Vick and crew roll in a game that is not as close as the final score indicates, 35-24.

Vikings @ Eagles - Sunday, 1:00 on FOX. I could use this space to rip on Randy Moss, but everyone else this week has already done that nicely. Oh what the heck - Randy, you are an AWESOME player - you, Mike Vick, Peyton Manning, and T. Owens are the only 4 true "game breakers" in the NFL - but, for cryin' out loud, when you hang your 2 or 3 TD's on Sunday on the Eagles secondary, act like you've been there before. Philly, you can't turn it on and off like a light switch. Sorry Ingrid, Vikings in a close one, 31-27.

Colts @ Patriots - Sunday, 4:30 on CBS. Patriot Fan, your ride is over. Peyton finally gets it done on the road. The horses from Indy are on a mission from God, the Patriots cornerbacks are gimped up, and Marvin Harrison is a stud. Too much offense, even for Bill Billicheck. It's their year, Colts 49-13 in a stinker.

What do you think?

Keeping Kentucky Wildcats Away

Question: How do you keep a Kentucky Wildcat out of your yard?

Answer: Put up goalposts.

World's Best/Worst Knock Knock Joke

Knock knock

Who's There?

Duane

Duane who?

Duane the bathtub, I think I'm dwowning.

First Entry

Everyone in the world has their own blog, or their own Reality Television show, or in some cases, both. Just call this blog yet another entry into the already over crowded, way too polluted, unintelligible entity Al Gore likes to call "his" Internet.
Anyway, I'll try to have something interesting to say, or to link to at least. More to come later.
Oh well, if you're bored and you're a "clone" like me, check out Jim Rome's web site. It is tight. Unbelieveable. Dude has his own web site. Classic. I am out.
www.jimrome.com